Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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