i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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