What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
and you fell through a lawn chair
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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