I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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