he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
