I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
