We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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