what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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