and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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