After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
