Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
