You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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