So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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