She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
