dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Soap is not a condiment
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize