Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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