So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
