After last night, I could never be a politician.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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