i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
