Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
