halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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