Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
