Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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