I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
