i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
