Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So vagazzling was a success
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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