Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
do herpes really smell.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize