The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
