we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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