school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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