Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
