im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
