dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
