Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
