Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
honey bunches of taint.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
