At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Randomize
