His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize