bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
