Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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