Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
there is puke in my bra ... again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
