Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize