haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
