She announced her abortion via fbk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
nutella sex= disaster
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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