Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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