Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
this is an emotional support booty call
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
