she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
