im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
