it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I wear drunk well.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
