just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
