whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
