i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize