STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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