i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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