hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
kristin has been a bad kristin
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
