My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
