Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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