if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
