I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
