when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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