Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize