so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
