So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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