today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
