I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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